K. Hi.

I can’t think of anything cool to write so I’m just gonna be honest with you all and state that I’m a BWB (Basic White Bitch) with a passion for Lambrini and ‘rapping’ Nicki Minaj.

If I had to describe myself in terms of lip care. I would say I was 50% ‘Bobbi Brown – Uber Beige‘ and 50% your local drugstore favourite; ‘Sexy Mother Pucker’.

Equal parts trashy and sassy.

I have two levels: Beyoncé or Michelle, never a Kelly.

I surround myself with strong, independent women who buy me food and tell me I’m pretty. I try my best not to surround myself with fuckboys, but you live and you learn… or you just don’t.

I’m Audi.


*Disclaimer – One of the above things are no longer true.

Forgive me father for I have sinned.

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